Love Me Always
Love Me Always
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SYNOPSIS
SYNOPSIS
She doesn’t want the charming rogue to know her secret, only because she doesn’t want him to think she is insane. He has been in love with her since they were children, but their love is forbidden since she is betrothed to his dying uncle. Will fate lend them a hand, or are they destined to be apart and miserable for the rest of their lives?
Katherine Bingham’s world is spiraling out of control. Her father has arranged her marriage to an older man she cannot love, a decision she accepts only to escape a home where she’s accused of murder and insanity. Trapped between two impossible choices, she reluctantly agrees to wed the Duke of Ashton, George Fairfax, resigning herself to a life of misery. But everything changes when she meets the duke’s nephew, Nicholas—and falls hopelessly in love.
Nicholas, a man burdened by loneliness, is torn between duty and desire. His dying uncle’s final wish is for him to protect the family legacy, but his heart belongs to Katherine. As their forbidden love deepens, dark forces within the estate begin to stir. Mysterious accidents turn deadly, and suspicion lands squarely on Katherine. Branded as mad, she’s thrust into a nightmare where only Nicholas believes in her innocence. Will their love be enough to expose the real murderer and set her free, or will they both be crushed by the weight of secrets and betrayal?
Step into this sweet Victorian Romance, where tender passion is subtly woven, allowing your imagination to complete the story.
She doesn’t want the charming rogue to know her secret, only because she doesn’t want him to think she is insane. He has been in love with her since they were children, but their love is forbidden since she is betrothed to his dying uncle. Will fate lend them a hand, or are they destined to be apart and miserable for the rest of their lives?
Katherine Bingham’s world is spiraling out of control. Her father has arranged her marriage to an older man she cannot love, a decision she accepts only to escape a home where she’s accused of murder and insanity. Trapped between two impossible choices, she reluctantly agrees to wed the Duke of Ashton, George Fairfax, resigning herself to a life of misery. But everything changes when she meets the duke’s nephew, Nicholas—and falls hopelessly in love.
Nicholas, a man burdened by loneliness, is torn between duty and desire. His dying uncle’s final wish is for him to protect the family legacy, but his heart belongs to Katherine. As their forbidden love deepens, dark forces within the estate begin to stir. Mysterious accidents turn deadly, and suspicion lands squarely on Katherine. Branded as mad, she’s thrust into a nightmare where only Nicholas believes in her innocence. Will their love be enough to expose the real murderer and set her free, or will they both be crushed by the weight of secrets and betrayal?
Step into this sweet Victorian Romance, where tender passion is subtly woven, allowing your imagination to complete the story.
Chapter One Look Inside
Chapter One Look Inside
England 1854
Marriage! Katherine Bingham shuddered.
Bile rose in her throat and her heart twisted as dreams of marrying a man for love faded away. The Duke of Ashton, George Fairfax, had been her parents’ close friend for as long as she could remember. She had thought of him as her uncle. Yet, her father expected her to marry the man against her will.
Gazing into her full-length mirror, Katherine frowned. Moisture gathered in her eyes, threatening to spill forward and reveal the tumultuous emotions spinning in her head. As she glanced over her black trimmed, deep purple traveling dress, she sighed heavily. The short waist-jacket accented her figure, making it appear more slender. The color even made her hair shimmer and allowed her skin to take on a creamy complexion. Normally she would be pleased with her new ensemble, but today she wanted nothing more than to be garish and ugly. Perhaps then His Grace wouldn’t want to marry her.
“Oh, Miss Katherine, keep your chin up,” her maid, Louisa, said cheerfully. “You’re certainly going to make an impression on the duke. The way you look now, you will take his breath away.”
“That’s precisely the problem.” Katherine shook her head and a lock of hair slipped out of her carefully styled bun, falling across her forehead. “Quick, Louisa. Locate my dreariest gown and make certain it is wrinkled beyond compare. Also, please coil my hair so tightly that it makes my eyes pop out of my head.”
Her maid, only younger by a few years, gasped as she lifted her hand to her throat. “Why, Miss Katherine? I cannot possibly do that. It will ruin your appearance.”
“You must.” Katherine clutched the girl by her bony shoulders. “The duke is old. Breath is vital to his health and it is important he maintains it. I would hate to be the reason His Grace has heart palpitations.”
Louisa’s dubious expression wavered slightly before she giggled. “Oh, Miss Katherine, how humorous you are. His Grace made a wise decision when he invited you to his estate to continue his pursuit for your hand in marriage.”
Katherine dropped her hands and nodded, her heart sinking even lower. She wanted to live her life on her own terms, but the longer she pondered her dilemma, the harder her chest tightened as invisible fingers gripped her very being, suffocating her. Indeed, she was trapped and she knew not how to escape.
Yet, marriage to an old man beat the alternative. She could no longer live with a father who thought her insane, and she refused to believe him any longer.
“Thank you for your kind words,” Katherine muttered before inhaling deeply, hoping to release the horrid pressure in her chest.
The rattle of approaching carriages and the pounding of horses’ hooves drifted through her bedchamber. She trudged to the opened window and peered outside. Three elegant vehicles with three outriders pulled to a stop in the circular drive.
“They are here,” Louisa cheered as she joined her at the window. “I’ve never seen anything so grand in my life.” She sighed. “You are most fortunate, Miss Katherine. Your circumstances remind me of the fairytale about Cinderella.”
Agony consumed Katherine, more intense now. She was far from fortunate, and she would never have Cinderella’s happy ending. For the rest of Katherine’s life she would be stuck in a loveless marriage.
“Miss?” Louisa leaned near the window’s ledge. “Who are those men dismounting?”
Katherine focused on the three broad-shouldered men striding toward the front door. “I’m not certain.” She leaned out a little further to get a better look. “If I’m not mistaken, I think they are the duke’s nephews.” Confusion filled her and she frowned. “I wonder what they are doing here?”
Louisa touched Katherine’s arm. “Perhaps they came with their uncle. Although,” she leaned out the window a little more, “I don’t see the duke, yet.”
Katherine wasn’t worried. She knew the old man would be coming soon, unfortunately for her.
A few times in her childhood, George brought his nephews when he visited Katherine’s parents. They were never really close, mainly because the boys were at the age where they disliked girls, especially ones who could ride better than they could. From what she remembered, the boys’ mother died when they were young, and their father had some lung ailment that kept him inside the house, which was why their uncle practically raised them.
Louisa stretched her neck, looking closer. “Miss Katherine? I really cannot see the duke.”
Katherine shrugged, turning away from the window. “Perhaps he is waiting in the carriage. After all, he is old enough to be my father, mayhap older. The coach ride probably tired him out.”
She sighed. She could only hope.
The bedroom door opened and Katherine’s father stepped inside. Once again, mixed emotions stirred inside her. She wanted to scream in frustration and blame someone for the unfairness handed to her. Why hadn’t her parents put a stop to this ridiculous marriage idea four years ago? Just because her grandfather was Pastor over the parish George had attended with her father, didn’t mean they had to agree to the betrothal. Even now she couldn’t believe her father hadn’t called down hell and fire from one of her grandfather’s old sermons for George’s method of practically buying her since he had paid for her schooling and most of her clothes.
Obviously, her father didn’t think this was a sin. And since he didn’t, she now wondered if he was the one insane.
“Are you ready?” her father asked, his voice was too soft to be the stern Colonel he had been for as long as she could remember.
Katherine gave him a sharp nod then turned away. She hadn’t spoken to her parents since they sent her away to the girls’ school right after they sold their daughter to the older man. Even at her mother’s funeral two years ago, Katherine had barely said a word. Of course, the sudden death and the way her mother had been killed still left a heavy scab on Katherine’s heart. If only she could remember everything about that night.
Pushing aside the horrid memory, she walked to the empty vanity table. Her hair ribbons and brushes had been packed in a trunk with all her other belongings. A sense of emptiness filled her. She longed for the way her life used to be.
“Louisa?” her father asked. “Would you see if Mrs. Rivers is packed and ready to travel with my daughter?”
“Yes, sir.” Louisa bobbed in a small curtsy and left the room.
Strong footsteps grew on the floor behind Katherine, then her father’s hands rested on her shoulders. She stiffened, refusing to give her father any affection. He hadn’t been any comfort since her mother’s death, anyway. Why would he give it to her now?
“They are here, Kat.”
Katherine cringed upon hearing the nickname her parents used when she was a child, not wanting to think about those days. Instead of saying anything, she answered with another nod.
“Please turn and look at me.” Her father’s voice pleaded. “Would you at least say something to acknowledge my presence? Four years is too long to go without speaking to me.”
Katherine squeezed her eyes closed, willing the tears to stay hidden. He hadn’t cared when she shed them after realizing she was betrothed, and so crying now was useless.
“Kat, please. Don’t do this to me or to yourself.” He stroked a gentle hand over the netting covering Katherine’s hair. “Dearest? Do you not understand that your mother and I did this for your future happiness? George Fairfax has so much he wants to give you, and arranging your marriage was the only acceptable way. You shall have so much more than your mother or I had when we started out. You will be blessed with a large house and many servants, not to mention the wonderful social life with many titled lords and ladies. Just think of the life the duke is offering.”
Katherine had held her tongue for too long, and her resistance finally broke. Spinning around, she faced her father, her hands clenched into fists by her sides. “Father, can you not remember when Grandfather preached about worldly possessions and how they were not important in life? I’m appalled you are going through with this. I’m your only child. Am I not important as well? Do my feelings mean nothing?”
She took a deep, cleansing breath. “If you cared at all, you would have realized I shared the dreams of every young girl. We come from a different world than the Duke of Ashton, and I don’t fit with his circle of friends. I want to fall in love with a man of my choosing – a man I can accept as my husband, who will love and want me just as much as I love and want him. I believe God wants me to marry, raise a family, and to be happy. If you force me to marry George Fairfax, I shall never be happy.”
A tear ran down her cheek, but she refused to wipe it away. “Why him, Father?” she continued as her voice cracked. Her chest heaved rapidly, but she wouldn’t stop. Not now. “My dreams were snatched away when you and Mother decided the duke would be my husband. You have torn my life apart. Do you think I should fall to the floor and kiss your feet for finding me a titled husband just because he can give me everything you ever wanted?”
Lines deepened in her father’s withered forehead, but he said nothing. Instead, she continued to voice her opinion while tears streaked down her cheeks. “Father, am I going to stay with George Fairfax because you care about my welfare or is this your way of washing your hands of the insane daughter you were burdened with?”
Tears filled her father’s eyes, but his jaw hardened. “Katherine Emily Bingham. You need to show me some respect. I do not deserve to be spoken to in that manner.”
His stern voice reminded her of being a young girl who had been disobedient. She had heard him use this tone with his regiment as well. “And I do not deserve to have this arrangement.”
He huffed and folded his arms. Bushy brown eyebrows pulled together as his scowl deepened. “You know perfectly well what I think about my insane daughter. Although you show characteristics of having your mother’s personality, I think it best that you get away from here, and in doing so, I pray the disease your mother had will not affect you like it did her.”
She sighed. Not this again. He would always throw that line at her whenever she spoke out of turn, which wasn’t often, but enough for her to become tired of hearing it. As much as he wanted to tell her she might turn out different, she knew her father thought she would end up like her mother.
Katherine moved past him and rushed out of the bedroom, heading down the long corridor to peer out another window. Her father’s retreating footsteps eased her nerves only slightly. At least he didn’t try to stop and scold her again.
She detested the thought of the future her parents had planned for her, but she must put the past behind her and start anew. She had no other choice. Perhaps her father was who drove her mother insane, and leaving this house might be good for Katherine as well.
From down the hall, soft footsteps creaked on the floor behind her. She spun around to meet her father’s servant. Timothy Gittens had been with her family since before Katherine was born. Gittens had grown up with her father, and to keep their friendship, her father hired his friend as a servant in the household after her parents married.
Gittens was such a kind, gentle man. Always there to help her when needed, and always there to give her a shoulder to cry on. She would certainly miss him – more than her father, in fact.
Gittens stopped in front of her and smiled weakly. “Kat, I wish to say goodbye to you before you leave.”
Tears stung her eyes again, and she gave the older man a hug. “Thank you.”
“This place won’t be the same with you gone.” He stroked her back lovingly.
“I shall miss you terribly.” She pulled away and tried to smile even while her lips trembled. “Please take care of yourself.”
“I shall.” He grasped her hands. Sad, eyes met hers as his gray eyebrows pulled together in worry. “I wish I could go with you and look after you. After all, you will need someone familiar in the duke’s grand estate.”
She shook her head. “Then who would look after Father?”
Gittens chuckled. “If you ask me, Henry can take care of himself.” He nodded to toward the stairs. “I think you should go down now and meet your visitors.”
Sighing, she frowned. “I’m not yet ready. I shall need a few more minutes.”
Voices carried up the stairs, and she turned to hear more. Only mumbling was detected from this far away, so she crept closer to the stairs. Stopping, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath for courage. She couldn’t let them see how upset she was. She had to appear strong. Hurting George Fairfax and his family was unnecessary. Because of all they had done for her and her parents, she must show them she accepted her fate. Although she would marry the duke, she only loved him like a father, or even an uncle. That would never change.
As her body and mind relaxed, the conversation her father had with George’s nephews drifted up the staircase.
Her father cleared his throat. “Why didn’t the duke come to retrieve my daughter himself?”
“My uncle has taken ill.” A man’s deep voice answered irritably.
“That is terrible. May I offer my services in some way?”
“Colonel Bingham, there is naught my uncle will have anyone do.” Another man’s voice spoke, light and uplifting. “As I’m certain you know, he does not ask for help even if he needs it.”
“Is he so ill he needs help?” her father asked.
“My uncle is strong. His malady will soon pass,” the aggravated man spoke again. “Colonel Bingham, we are on a tight schedule. Could you please instruct your daughter and her companion to make haste?”
Katherine inhaled sharply and turned toward Gittens who still stood beside her. “I think that is my cue to join them.”
“I agree.” He smiled, leaned over and kissed her cheek. “If ever you need me, just send a message.”
“I thank you, Gittens. You are a wonderful man with a caring heart.”
She smoothed out the front of her dress, and with a straight back, continued down to meet the men who would soon be a part of her unhappy future.